Poochyena's Rebellious Tale
by EeveeWanderer
Summary: Not all Pokemon are fans of humans. This Poochyena in particular is tired of them trying to capture him. He's kind of rude too.


Pokémon: Poochyena's Rebellious Tale

By EeveeWanderer

Notes: We in the management apologise for the gruff and rude manner of the Poochyena telling this tale. We feel though that keeping his tone without editing is necessary to properly illustrate his perspective. She is a dark type Pokémon after all.

START PROGRAM:

I hate you humans. I really do. Sorry, not sorry.

Seriously, all you want to do is catch us all and make us duke it out for your own perverted enjoyment. You cowards can't even swing a fist yourself, so you want us to take care of it all for you. Screw you. When I fight it's because I want to. Yes, I enjoy fighting, but it's because I'm free to fight. I don't have some stinking human choosing which moves I should use. I get to decide.

I see humans travel to the town south of here all the time. They come from all over the region and they're all kids. Starry eyed and green, thinking they're gonna be the next champion of the Pokémon world. They go to that weird human to pick up their first slave and return to the north, making their way in the world. And they always manage to capture one or two Pokémon around here. There's a lot of wild mon around here and a lot of the fools look forward to becoming servants to the pitiful humans.

Not me. I'm gonna stay free and evolve into a Mightyena on my own. I've trounced a good number of Torchic, Mudkip, and Treecko belonging to the new trainers who think they can take down the first Poochyena they meet. Maybe I'm teaching them a valuable lesson. But that'll be the only thing I'll do to benefit the humans.

Oooh. I'm sorry. Am I offending you? Pfft. Live with it. Not every Pokémon is going to kowtow to you.

Oh, wait. Here comes another trainer. I am getting sick of this.

"Hah." The trainer laughs. He's a young boy wearing a short jacket, t-shirt and shorts. His hair is crammed into a beanie cap. The weak humans need clothing it seems. Too proud to go naked. I hear they even dress up some Pokémon. Complacent slaves.

"My first battle against a wild Pokémon." The trainer continues. "Let's see what we got here."

He pulls out a device I'm very familiar with: a PokéDex. I've been scanned with those things multiple times. Dumb humans can't trust their own instincts.

"Poochyena." The PokéDex states in the human language. "A puppy Pokémon known for its bite. Many will follow their prey endlessly until they collapse. This particular specimen is quite advanced in level."

"Great!" The human says. "It'll be a great addition to my team."

Oh, I love this. As much as I get tired of the number of humans who try to capture me, I relish the feeling I get from crushing their hopes. They all think it's just gonna be an easy dance. And everytime I win.

"Ok, go pokéball!" The human cries out as he throws a slave ball towards me. It opens up, making that annoying screech as the energy flows from it. Ugh. If you humans had any idea of how that sounds in the upper range of hearing frequencies…

The energy forms into a bipedal Pokémon, almost human in form. It's shorter than the kid, but taller than the starter Pokémon I'm used to seeing. It's grey-skinned and has bright eyes. There's three crests on top of its head and it has a short stubby tail.

"Machop." The Pokémon proudly cries out and thrusts out its chest.

OK, this is new. Might be interesting even. I wonder where the kid got one of those to start. Maybe his parents had someone capture it for the kid. Doesn't matter. It's just another weak servant.

"OK, Machop." The human lectures his slave. "You're a fighting type Pokémon and this is a dark type Pokémon. It's weak against your attacks. This should be easy!"

I start laughing. This is just too rich. The human thinks it's all about types. Another learning experience for the humans.

"What?!" the human cries out, noticing my reaction.

"Poochyena!" Let's get this over with.

"Grrr. Machop, karate chop that Pokémon."

"Machop!" The Machop runs forward, drawing back one of its human-like hands. I wait until the last moment. Just as the Machop nears me and brings down its hand, I dart to the side, avoiding the attack entirely. Well, that was a powerful attack. The Machop is definitely of a higher level than one who just hatched out of an egg. It's being held back by the inexperience of his trainer. If it was on its own, I'd have a real problem with it.

I'm going to have a little fun with this battle. I let out a frightening howl, using the full force of my lungs. The sound waves are absorbed by the Machop and I see him cringe. That'll take off any chance he had of hurting me.

"Machop, don't let him faze you!" The pitiful human cries out. "Low kick."

The Machop runs towards me and attempts to sweep my legs from under me. I dart back and forth, causing the Machop to misjudge the distance he needs to cover and his leg reach. The attack fails. I hate to say it, but an actual competent trainer would be able to better coordinate the attack.

I see the human boy try to think. Maybe he'll actually come up with some master strategy to win.

Heh. I crack myself up.

"Use focus energy, Machop." The trainer commands. The Machop gathers up energy and grunts.

Oh, great. The human's gonna try one of these plans: focus everything together for a while and then unleash the attack. I don't have time for this.

I bunch myself up and let loose a cry of chaos and terror. I let loose waves of cacophony towards the Machop. The earholes of the Pokémon are assailed by my attack and throb with pain. Quickly, the Machop turns.

"Machop!" He cries out and runs in the opposite direction.

"No, Machop!" The human pathetically tries to bolster the courage of his slave, but it's not happening.

When I roar, I roar! It'll take a good few minutes for the human to collect his slave.

Well, that wasn't a fight worth bragging about, but it filled a little time. I'm going to see if I can find a Zigzagoon to pester. Maybe I can finally evolve then.

It's not going to because some human made me, I can tell you that for free.

End POV Poochyena

Start POV Unidentified:

A figure hiding behind a tree watched as the Poochyena strutted away from the battle scene. She wore an uniform of red and black. Most notable was the oversized hood covering her face; the hood featured two horns. A bold capital M of red was emblazoned on the front of her shirt.

The woman clutched a communicator and pushed down the send button.

"This is Grunt Penelope." She says in low tones. "I think I've found a new Pokémon soldier for Team Magma."

She lets go of the button and a staticky voice sounds from the speaker of the device.

"What kind of Pokémon?"

"Just a Poochyena. But it looks tough. It just beat a Machop on its own."

"Excellent, Penelope. It sounds like it's just the Pokémon for you. You have full permission to capture and take possession. Over."

"Thank you. Over and out."

The woman smiles and pulls out a pokéball. Instead of the common red and white variety, it has a blue upper hemisphere with red highlights. The grunt moves towards the Poochyena.

END PROGRAM

I leave it to the reader's imagination to decide the Poochyena's fate.

This fanfic was powered by a Ricoh 5A22 CPU clocked at 3.58 MHz.


End file.
